“Is it November 13 already? Why am I having such a bad day?”
I glanced at my desk calendar to check. It’s only November 12, a THURSDAY and it’s not yet FRIDAY the 13th. I’m not the type of person who takes superstitions seriously, but I have to admit that it’s not my day. Officially. I even left my wallet and house key inside the house. In fact, the only wonderful thing about this day is the realization that the Big Burger Steak Supreme with Mashed Potato by Jollibee is not yet phased out as reported when I called the delivery hotline. I needed it for stress-eating. Medyo naniniwala na ako sa Forever.
You know, there are instances in life when you just feel unsafe and a bit insecure – whether that is related to your looks, state of your love life, work/project issues or even simply because of a teleserye. The major culprit at some point is Social Media. It is now the root of insecurities amongst people who are not satisfied with the current state of their lives. I admit that at times, I feel the same way, but I do not really let it get into me because I know the effects. Instead of sulking and feel sorry for myself for a month, I’d do some actions – even just baby steps to achieve whatever I really want.
Do you know that not all people who post breathtaking travel photos, healthy food selections or those who post their money or expensive purchases are happy? At some point, we post these updates to project an “image” of what we want people to perceive us to be. What is really the story behind that photo?
Earlier today, I had a dilemma. There are some factors in our lives that no matter how hard we try to do things right or for the better, there’s always that one or two individuals who ruins everything for everyone just to divert issues. It’s like being in a toxic romantic relationship – you try your very best to maintain a fruitful relationship by explaining every single detail, but outside factors, who are not really involved directly influence what happens to you. This also applies to family, love, work, travel… even food… or fitness. Or even with books. You want to buy that book but if someone tells you that book sucks, you tend to listen to that other person even he/she hasn’t read a single page of that book.
Even with music. Like right now, I’m listening to Justin Bieber’s “What Do You Mean” because it is a good dance track but surely, those who remember JB during his “Baby” days will call me stupid loving his song. Influencing others to do drastic decisions just to cover up to your own mistake/insecurity is not healthy.
I don’t really know how I’m going to end this post but I just want to write and no, I’m not drunk. My thoughts are floating on air like Aladdin and Jasmine enjoying that magic carpet ride. If only I can decide for my own without considering other factors, I’d be flying to a place I’ve never been to before and just join a night party to dance. There are some instances in life that when you pursue what you love, people will call you selfish, impatient, unpractical. There’s that “get a proper job” blah blahs I’ve been hearing when in fact I do have a proper job. People say things they don’t really know completely about and all they do is refer to your Facebook updates. I DO NOT POST EVERYTHING ON FACEBOOK because I still value my privacy. It is also the reason why I stick to my Nokia E72 phone and rarely use that other spare smartphone – I want to live my life without the pressure of having to check my social media accounts every single time. I’m always in front of my laptop. I think that’s enough online time for me.
Family relations in different aspects has its own advantage and disadvantages. For example, if you’re a heiress of a hotel like Paris Hilton, automatically a big pressure is imposed on you already from the day you were born. If you’re a Royal Baby too. You do not really have a choice but to continue a family legacy. What if you want to pursue a career path very contradictory to the family business?
When you’re the eldest in the family and you have a sibling with special needs, you automatically need to adjust your life plan by considering what is best for your family. Even possible job offers abroad, where you will live in the future and yes, even potential life partner you willingly adjust it to what’s best for everyone. You don’t really blame anyone because there’s no one to blame – that is given already and am not complaining at all. But sometimes, people who don’t really know you judge you thinking you’re only thinking about yourself. It’s just that at most times, I’d rather take things lightly than dwell too much on the negative. People think you don’t work simply because they do not understand. They react negatively to something they do not understand and they don’t want to admit it or ask for clarification. They just judge you.
So how how will I end this post? I will publish this by the time the clock strikes at 12mn. Hopefully I’d be able to get a good sleep, relax and reunite with my friends in Manila for a movie and videoke night. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do! I’m letting go of the negative emotions for the weekend and will sort out things when I’m no longer at the height of my emotions.
NOTE: I wrote this straight without checking the grammar or whatevz. Maybe I’ll delete this in the morning or maybe not.
*hugs*