Sometime last month, I confronted one of my friends in the travel blogging world.
I was about to tag him in a post when I realized that he is not following me on Twitter. I refreshed his page. Ugh, that ‘follows you’ text doesn’t appear under his handle. I checked if he is still following some of our common friends. I also checked if we ever had any DMs.
Yes, we did. If he was able to message me first, it means he followed me first and I followed back.
To be honest, that hurt a little. I know that this follow/unfollow game in social media is the trend right now, but it kinda sucks when you realize that a close friend would do that to you.
So I messaged him on Facebook and confronted him. Why did you unfollow me on Twitter? Did I do something wrong?
He replied that it wasn’t him who unfollowed me and he apologized for what happened.
“The social media game sucks. I am so sorry you felt that way.”
This is the reason why I am having a hard time embracing the social media game.
DID WE REALLY HAVE THAT CONNECTION?
Some years ago, I went on a press trip and I was impressed on how this charming blogger gained a lot of followers on Instagram in a short span of time. A friend told me I should use appropriate hashtags and so on. That time, I was holding on to my Nokia phone and used the Samsung one as a backup.
I was surprised when I saw her IG activities. She was liking random photos and some are adult materials.
Nah, a bot might be doing this liking, commenting and following on her behalf.
I guess that explains why in one incident, someone approached her and reminded her that they exchanged messages via Instagram but she couldn’t remember a thing about the conversation despite the fact that the other person seemed enthusiastic about their private message exchange.
THE BUSINESS SIDE
There was also a time when I was searching for a group photo taken from a trip that was posted by a friend on her Instagram page. When we met up and scrolled her feed to show her the photo again as support to our conversation, I could no longer find it. She said she had to delete it to compliment with the aesthetic of her feed.
That hurt a little too.
“So does that mean your feed is more important than the memories we shared together?” I asked her.
“Don’t be sensitive about it. It’s work. It’s a business decision. You have a special place in my heart and you know that.” she said.
I just took a deep breath and moved on. At least I still saw our group photo on her blog post.
BUT CAN YOU REALLY BLAME THEM?
I honestly couldn’t blame any of my friends from the blogging world for exerting extra effort in the social media game. The digital world is one competitive industry. You have to learn to keep up and evolve if you want to stay relevant. There will always be someone younger who will take your place. Your initial blog readers might not be as excited to read your content as they used to. Surely, a better writer will pop up anytime soon. A techie will always invest in better cameras and tools. Another hardworking soul will do whatever it takes to keep up with the digital nomad lifestyle he/she learned to love and embrace.
On this blog alone, you will read a number of advertorials and you might have probably clicked on one of the affiliate links (when you book a room or trip in any of those affiliate links, I’ll get a commission at no extra cost to you *wink*). But I still try to balance my content and honestly, it is a struggle at times. I have so many plans for my blog(s) but when I think of the social media game, I can’t help but give up on that aspect. It is overwhelming and tiring. Badette, is it time for us to go on a trip to Japan together?
THE REAL DEAL
To be honest, I miss the days when bloggers would write personal stories about their adventures/ misadventures and readers or fellow bloggers would share how the can relate to the situation or leave any genuine comment (apart from nice work! Lovely photos! Well done!). I’m sure your favorite blogger – whether he/she converted into a travel guide/listicle/directory site feels the same way and it hurts them too. Unfortunately, most companies/advertisers look at the numbers of social media followers compared to the criteria years ago.
It hurts when people call you a sell out. Why do celebrities get all the love and praise when their list of endorsements grow, yet when a blogger does it, he/she gets bashed?
Ouch.
Anyway, I just wrote this post after watching Jessie J’s short video for her upcoming album. She gone through a lot of criticisms for her past two albums and some ‘fans’ claimed she became a sell out and she’s trying too hard when she started singing about her sexuality. Her emotions and principles when she was 17 is different from when she grew up as a sexy lady at 27.
How do you support your favorite bloggers? Leave genuine comments, tell them what you’d like to read on their blogs, support them financially by buying or booking hotel accommodations through their affiliate links, don’t skip YouTube ads when watching their videos, leave a like, subscribe and be nice.
What’s my point? My stomach hurts and I’ve been craving for Pinapaitan for almost a week now. How do I end this post now? Now.
Same feels with followers/unfollowers. Meron pala talagang social media game na tinatawag?When it comes to “aesthetic” naman, imho, it’s more charming if feeds are kept real. Yung tipong may mga feslak ng mga kasama mo sa trips tapos magcocomment sila ng kayo lang ang nakakarelate. Hehehe.
Yup, it exists. Dami rin bumibili ng followers. About aesthetic, ganun na nga yata talaga ang labanan since hinahanap din ng mga potential clients yun these days.
This totes exist. Also hate the follow / unfollow game on Instagram. Like, I won’t follow you if you don’t follow me shit or I’ll follow you so you follow me but when you follow me, I’ll unfollow you eventually. Disgusting. Kinda was like that before and kept the number of people I follow to a minimum but now am like, I LIKE THIS SHIT. I’m friends with this bitch so Imma be nice. But treatment isn’t the same, of course. Cos they care about themselves more and that’s okay. It’s the life they’re living. If they don’t wanna follow us, bye. Haha. Just move on, I guess.
But now on Instagram, there’s archiving so people don’t need to deleted photos anymore cos they can just archive it which is fine.
You’re right. That’s why although I am tempted to use programs where you can detect who followed/unfollowed you, i’d rather not check it. I might get too upset if I find out a close friend unfollows me for the sake of ‘numbers’. ARAYKOBEH HAHA
Hmmm.. I am not aware of that archive option! Hope we meet soon and teach me more IG tips and tricks 😛
Oh yes, this follow/unfollow game is just so stupid. I follow accounts which’s content I really like. I totally understand your point with friends, it makes me sad too, when they don’t follow my blog. But then I think, not everyone is supposed to like what I’m doing and I just have to get that…
I agree with you. Oh well, we just need to accept changes I guess 🙂
The first paragraph under “The Real Deal” speaks to me!! I’ve come across a lot of big time bloggers and their content all looks the same. I miss that personal touch, and getting to feel what the writer experienced. It’s a dying art, almost! Haha. Also, I still battle with the aesthetics of my feed.
Thanks so much for writing this!!
It is a dying art indeed lol. Hard to say but kind of true. Huhu there is still hope LOL
I. too, miss the old social media when there was genuine interaction — it was as close to having personal communication with friends in faraway places or even meeting (and making) new friends online. I miss well-written narratives, those articles with real, passionately-written stories.
I love papaitan, too.
Papaitan saves the day 😛
We discovered that some even blocked us. Well, I don’t blame them too since, when there is no engagement, they are regarded as ghost followers and it further hurts one’s engagement. Anyway, I love how you didn’t lose the personal touch in writing, Ate Mica <3 Keep on being the real deal.
After you followed them they blocked you? That is sad :/ Thanks for the feedback, Me-An! Blogging is quite challenging if numbers haunt you everytime you try to write something haha 😀 Don’t lose that personal touch when writing your posts too especially the food reviews. I enjoy reading them 🙂
I love how you’re able to put a personal touch in your posts, from hotel reviews to just random and honest thoughts like this. You can really tell when a person writes from the heart versus writing for an audience. It’s hard trying to balance the two. I really enjoy writing about personal motorcycling trips the most compared to travel guides and hotel reviews, though I know 98% of my audience won’t really be able to relate to it. But I get a different sense of satisfaction from the 2% who actually read those posts and leave a genuine comment about my ride. Stay true to yourself! Looking forward to Badette Part 2.
Thanks Kara! I remember our conversation over coffee last month. Balance is key but sometimes balancing makes you off-key toinks 😛 I hope that soon your motorcycling posts will have a vlog version soon. Ang astig iimagine! I am looking forward to writing Badette Part 2 too!
Good read! This post is very honest and straightforward. I’m not a blogger, but I also went through some of the situations here on social media. I feel you and respect you for how you feel towards this “foolish” social media game. But more than the popularity these bloggers and influencers are gunning for, I think they are doing it because they need to survive, they need to finance their travels or whatever it is that they are going for. I have just embraced my life as a digital nomad and honestly, I would want to monetize my trips through blogging and social media so I could continue what I love doing. Unfortunately, that might entail cleaning up my Instagram feed, removing photos of my friends and everything that will not be in accordance to my theme when I decide to up my social media game down the road. It might sound silly, but I have to do it in pursuit of my dreams.
Hi Mario! Thanks for sharing your sentiments. That’s exactly the reason why I also wrote this post. Some of my friends are digital nomads now and rely mostly on their online income. Probably I’d do the cleaning up of the photos later on but for now, I’m keeping it (probably I’ll be deleting event-related updates but keep the ones on Facebook and Twitter). It’s just that when my friend did that more than two years ago, I was a sentimental one. Maybe if she did that this year I am more open-minded about it.
Hey, what’s your blog url? Share! 😀
Great to know, Senyorita! All the best to you in your future endeavors. At the end of the day, what matters is that we keep out feet on the ground.
As for the blog, it’s not yet up. It will go live by January 2018 as I am currently beefing it up with good contents 🙂
I never understood the whole follow/unfollow thing but all I know after a few years of being active on social media is that most of us tend to forget why we started stuff in the first place. I do miss writing whatever the heck I want without thinking if a PR company would be ticked if I wrote bad reviews about the restaurant’s food (to be fair, i’ve always been honest about this part)… but I feel like my identity was lost amidst all the food reviews and comped posts. I feel like taking a step back meant a lot, and I now realise that I don’t give a rat’s ass if people follow me or not, simply because I blog/post/tweet for my liking, and that should always come first. 🙂
I used to find the follow / unfollow game really irritating, but I’ve learnt to ignore it. For a lot of people, blogging is a business, and sometimes you have to use tactics and enter in practices that will benefit your business even though they may make you look like you don’t care. I do entertain these sort of games, but at the same time, I understand why anyone would do it. After all, gaining an audience is our goal, and this goal will make our businesses viable.
I don’t entertain these sort of games… it should read
I too miss the days when the Pinoy bloggers I read were posting about their personal trips. Now it’s all travel guides and tips and whatnots. If I want to get a travel guide and tips I would go to tripadvisor 🙂
The follow/unfollow game really is frustrating! I am learning to just do it for me. I wish growth cold be organic and not buying followers etc. Thanks for a piece about your honest feelings, always refreshing!
Even outside of the blogging world I have been having weird feelings when some people I know in real life won’t accept my friend request. And then I’m like, why am I feeling so disappointed? Why is this influencing so much how I feel? It’s just social media… well Iguess that it’s not “just” social media anymore…
Totally feel this! I mean, I get it. It’s business. I don’t get offended, but I do unfollow! Although recently I had a fellow travel blogger that I *thought* I bonded with unfollow me which kinda hurt… ha! Best of luck to you, love! xx
still here. still here. dinosaur but still here
Why don’t we build a new generation blogging community that does the stuff we did before? 🙁 Hay.